Ad libitum

Adrift I lay, surrounded by barren,

lulled by rolling tides,
in this seascape of waves I cannot muster.
For I was lost.

From whence I came and where I am,
where I will be and what I will be.
For I knew not.

Heavenly flowers lain next to me, 
nestled in warmth by the candling flame.
For I was overcome.

The scent of lilies
lingered.
Opened my eyes,

once I saw and now I see.
Illuminated.
For I was found.

Within the garden of lilies I wander,
some I pick and some I hold,
close to me to remind me.
For I was captivated.

Afar I stray, to
the bed of flowers,
How fragrant!
Yet lost I am.

From whence I came and where I will be,
Alas, where am I? 

The long dusty path
I cannot walk with you.
Destined to wander with disquiet solitude,
the lilies I carry have all but wilted.
And there will be no
lilies on my grave.

- KT (2022)

俯首

枯黃的樹葉散滿落地，

圍著曾經為大地覆庇

而孤獨地站立的

大樹。

曾經賜予的生命

扈從恆古定律

被奪回。

已凋謝的葉子

就著秋風的來臨起舞,

亦隨著百花焉萎，

默默地與萬木化為烏有。

- KT (2018)

Soar

        I rise
                from the ruins
        proud and undefeated,
        the familiar frigidness retreating,
                embracing the warmth so foreign.

        I am stronger than
                                you thought,
                stronger than
                                     I thought.

        I turn around to face my
                demons of my past and
                        the shadows they cast.

        Poised, I feel
        not a shred of apprehension.
        I will not be fazed.

        I will remain
        Unconquered
        for I will be more
        than I ever could be.

        - KT (2018)

Yield

Entrenched alone,
tempted to falter,
I bear this tapestry
squarely on my shoulders,

I will stand strong,
be greater than I ever was.

But no, I
    fall. I
    give in. I
    drop to my knees.

I shatter, for I am a
husk of who I
could have been.

- KT (2018)

Idylle

Les arbres perdaient leurs feuilles,

    les rossignols s’arrêtent de chanter.

Les couleurs de la forêt déteignent et

        la pluie de feuilles couvre le chemin.

    Viens avec moi

        le long du chemin sinueux

comme au vieux temps,

quand nous étions jeunes et insouciants,

quand nous étions rien de plus

                                toi et moi.

                             - KT (2017)

Lapse

Do not trust the sirens.

They will catch you unbound.

seduce you with their song, pull

you down and under.

Do not trust the temple,

erected on nothing but lies,

ready to crumble.

until the end of ruins.

Come forth!

Watch me wither

into the dying rose

I once was.

-KT (2017)

Sail On, I say

Sur Mer

I am the master of this vessel,

for I don the captain's uniform.

I am in charge. I am in control.

On my faithful ship I sail the seas 

beyond all imaginary borders,

conquering boundlessly vast oceans.

As I embarked on my final journey,

the skies closed and Poseidon arose,

toying with water as it was his canvas.

The waves splashed and jostled the boat, 

crossing and opposing the rudder.

I wrestle with the gods, struggling for control.

I pray to my sole guidance 

who duly reveal themselves when the sun is set, 

lighting the night skies and to never 

fault me, to lead me to salvation. 

Hope was a mere mirage, 

dwindling, sinking to the immeasurable depths.

Here and now I find no consolation 

between the celestial bodies and the horizons. 

There is no saving me, for I am stranded, and I,

compelled to embrace destitution, 

swallowed by this force I purported to tame.

                                                              No. I shall not yield.

                                                              I am in charge. I am in control.

                                                              I am the master of this vessel.

                                                              I am the conqueror of the waters.

                                                              I keep my head up,

                                                              concealing all doubt, 

                                                              burying all uncertainty.

                                                              'Sail on,'

                                                              self-assuredly I say.

                                                              'Sail on.'

-KT (2015)

The Season of Giving

Expendable Christmas Toy

Is this what I am, or rather, what I am not?                                                        

For all I believed was real, but really, was I                                                        

nothing more than merely a mean to take                                                      

you through the                                                        

night?                                                        

Maybe it is just me. I believed all was real, but 

am I disposable, as with a cheap toy, or am I

no more, after you used 

your share, and utterly forgetting

our scintillations. For just a 

moment of thrill, you patronise me                                                              

with a kiss, laced with nothing more than                                                              

verisimilar passion, demeaning me with a                                                              

night laced with nothing more than                                                              

affection counterfeit.                                                             

A night filled with lies, lies that I believed

all to be real, yet all I said to 

you was nothing less than the truth.

I lost, for I was the first,

first to take it seriously, beyond my 

will, for believing all was real.

                                                              Foolish as I am, for I would willingly

                                                              Repeat history, all but for 

                                                              A night of lies I would willingly believe, for

                                                              No one is as foolish as I.

                                                              Denial! I wished that

                                                              All was real; that you would tell me

                                                              'Yes, I am true to you.'

- KT (2014)

Yesterday II

When all seemed like yesterday,

the emptiness still unfilled,

the void still lingering.

I don an armour, an

appearance of normality,

nurturing the void

reluctant to depart.

Just when all seemed like yesterday,

a feeling so unfamiliar,

reignited by your entry into my life.

Hope, now injected with the

strength of the thought of you.

The void hastily retreats,

only to be replaced by the

warmth of the thought of you.

An emotion too unfamiliar,

fueled by the thought of you,

in my mind a stubborn stranger so

unwilling to depart,

unable to be evicted.

Nights devoid of sleep, yet

Days energised by the thought of you.

Cold winds bitter, yet

Warmed by the thought of you.

Patient persona I exhibit, yet

Impatient for your return.

Calm exterior I display, yet

Nervous self I reveal before you.

An evening with you,

time escaping too rapidly.

before I even knew, before our

backs turned against one another,

parting into the cruel night.

The goodbye was so swift and so soon.

The remnant of night becoming a

night of torpor, a

night neverending.

Only now, I am back at where I

began, with nothing but your

subterfuge against me. I am

impelled to confront my self-denial.

Do you not hear my calls to you,

for they go unanswered,

left in neglect,

neglect as your soul petrifies and

rears against me.

All I would have hoped for is

none more than an answer to my

yearning for you.

Time, attesting once again,

memories obdurate,

sentiments remain untarnished.

Hope, only so ephemeral.

When all just seemed like yesterday,

but now I am where I was.

                                                                   Vying,

                                                                   I am here!

                                                                   Come, o come

                                                                   To me.

                                                                   Only you can

                                                                   Reach me, for

                                                                   I am too far

                                                                   Away.

- KT (2014)

Departure

As firm as I will stand,

faithful as ever,

waiting at my post,

awaiting your arrival.

- KT (2013)

Yesterday

When all seemed just like yesterday,

the same old feeling just as raw.

When all seemed like a blur of gray, and

entrapped by your claws,

nothing will remain the same

for all I feel is shame.

I recall our dialogues so affluent,

affluent, yet phrases remain scarce.

Words,

barely suspended with thoughts

to an end to our conversations.

In midst the summer heat, now

Reduced to stagnation,

Reduced to an empty vow.

Just when all seemed like yesterday,

the pain just as intense,

for I was never fluent in

the fine art of disremembering,

the harshness of the spirit of sense.

Raucous ruins as scars

that remain after every altercation,

grating the wall of the heart,

as our colloquy comes to an end.

In midst the winter cold, now

Nothing but ruins,

Nothing but voidness.

Maybe all was just yesterday,

the same feelings unchanged.

A grandiose palace replete with memories:

visitors always welcome, yet

how do I evict?

Memories obdurate, sentiments untarnished.

Time, attesting scars not ephemeral.

Hope glowed so solitary

set by the secretive corner, powerless to

evacuate the darkness.

Yesterday,

the memories so near yet

the feelings out of reach.

When the wrong is right and

the fantasy is the reality

All is done and

nothing is done.

I can only

Reminisce.

When all just seemed like yesterday,

but it is all

Unreachable.

- KT (2013)

Fade (revisited)

Fade (revisited)

The Night was swiftly fading,

The Radiance saturating the skies.

Flower,

Unravelling its beauty.

Eternal pulchritude, yet,

Glorious?

Sentiments, tarnishing…

Time, leaves not a transient scar.

Autumn’s breeze gently brushed against my skin.

I gaze to the horizon,

In midst of Autumn’s soft rustling,

Hoping for

Flower,

To faithfully confide.

Flower,

Glistening in dusk.

Agony,

Fading away.

Elegance,

Grace,

Engraved forever.

-KT (2010)

à ..

Despondency

The road was covered with thorns,the

Path of departure, overcast by shades and

Shadows of the trees.

Splashes of the rain and draughts of the wind, left

Scars, deeply engraved within the heart.

Wandering, until I am

Lost, in a sea of sand.

Lost my direction, lost my path.

In this blurry sea of stars, I search for myself, for

Every single star sparks my passion.

-KT (2010)

à cherie

à cherie

Under the grace of the moonlight

Did you look so captivating.

The shadows of elegance,

Tactfully cast upon you.

- KT (2009)

Partings

Partings

A Goodbye so swift,

So Soon,

Long before I heard.

Emotions shifting,

As rest of the night,

I feel,

Time coming to standstill.

Stagnant.

Will I ever know,

When you will return?

A Goodbye too swift,

Long before I realised,

You have to part.

- KT (2009)

Unshatter

Unshatter

Gently I handle,

Frail.

Slip of my fingers,

Shatter not?

Between us,

What we had!

Regret, unpunctual.

I know not better?

Apologies,

Slip of my tongue?

Forgiveness?

No,

But atonement.

I will seek,

To unshatter.

- KT (2009)

Fade

Fade

Lucifer's torch rising,

Prevailing radiance

Filling the skies.

Flower,

Unravelling beauty.

Pulchritude,

Glorious?

Passing by,

Yet eternal.

Evanescence of time,

Leaves not a

Transient scar.

I gaze,

In midst of Autumn

Wind,

Waiting,

Hoping for

Flower,

To faithfully

Confide.

Flower,

Glistening in dusk.

Agony,

Fading away.

Sentiments,

Tarnishing.

Elegance,

Grace,

Forever engraved.

- KT (2009)